ILGM – Editor’s Choice (2026)
ILGM is the US‑focused seed bank with a germination guarantee and fast shipping. Trusted by thousands of growers nationwide.
- ✅ Auto-flowering & feminized seeds
- ✅ High germination rate
- ✅ Fast US shipping
- ✅ Excellent customer support
Herbies Seeds
Herbies Seeds offers a huge selection with worldwide shipping. A solid choice for international growers.
- ✅ Wide variety of strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Good customer service
- ✅ Payment options available
Crop King Seeds
Crop King Seeds offers a variety of Canadian strains. Slightly lower ratings but still a good option for many growers.
- ✅ Canadian strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Decent customer support
- ✅ Payment options
Vanilla Gorilla. Even the name hits weird. Like a dessert you’re not sure you’re allowed to eat—sweet, heavy, maybe illegal in three states. These seeds? They’re not for the faint-hearted or the half-assed hobbyist. You grow this strain because you want something loud. Something that doesn’t whisper “chill,” but growls it through a mouthful of marshmallow and diesel. It’s a contradiction in a hoodie. And it works.
I’ve seen these beans pop with a kind of stubborn energy—like they know what they’re becoming. Thick stems, wide leaves, that deep, waxy green that says, “Back up, I’m working.” The plants don’t just grow. They flex. And when they flower? Jesus. The buds come out like they’ve been dipped in sugar and rolled in pine needles. Sticky, dense, and stinking like vanilla cake left in a mechanic’s garage. It’s weirdly beautiful. Like a junkyard swan.
Genetically, it’s a mash-up. Gorilla Glue #4 and some vanilla-heavy indica—probably something with a name like “Frosted Cream” or “White Something.” Doesn’t matter. What matters is the high. It hits slow, then all at once. First you’re relaxed. Then you’re horizontal. Then you’re laughing at your own hand. It’s not a social strain. It’s a “cancel your plans and order too much Thai food” strain. Couch-lock? More like couch-fusion. You become the furniture.
Growing it indoors is smart. You can control the chaos. Outdoors, it’ll still thrive, but it gets big—like, “shade your neighbor’s tomatoes” big. Smell control is a joke. Your whole block’s gonna know. Don’t even try to hide it. Just own it. Be the vanilla gorilla guy. Could be worse.
Yield’s solid. Not record-breaking, but respectable. What you lose in volume, you gain in punch. Every nug looks like it was sculpted by a stoned god with a glitter fetish. And trimming? Sticky nightmare. Scissors gunked up in ten minutes flat. But worth it. Every time.
Smoke it at night. Or don’t—just don’t plan on doing anything useful afterward. It’s not a wake-and-bake strain unless your job is “nap tester.” I tried it before a Zoom meeting once. Bad idea. I forgot how to blink naturally. Just stared at the screen like a baked possum.
Anyway. If you’re looking for something subtle, keep walking. Vanilla Gorilla isn’t subtle. It’s loud, sweet, and a little bit dangerous. Like a milkshake with a switchblade. And I love it for that.