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Key Lime Pie seeds. Just the name makes your tongue twitch a little, right? Sweet, tart, creamy—like a dessert you sneak from the fridge at 2 a.m., stoned and barefoot. But this isn’t about pie. Not really. It’s about a strain that hits like a velvet hammer and smells like citrus sex.
These seeds? They’re not for amateurs. Or maybe they are. Who knows. Some folks grow them in closets with a single janky lightbulb and a prayer. Others go full hydro, pH meters and nutrient charts taped to the wall like war plans. Either way, Key Lime Pie doesn’t care. She grows thick, bushy, stubborn. Wants attention. Demands it, actually. You ignore her, she’ll throw tantrums—yellow leaves, stunted buds, the whole diva routine.
Genetically, she’s a phenotype of Girl Scout Cookies. But twisted. More indica-heavy, more sedative. Like GSC’s moodier cousin who listens to Portishead and smokes clove cigarettes. The high? It’s weird. Starts in your face—eyes go soft, jaw loosens, suddenly you’re smiling at nothing. Then it drops, slow and syrupy, into your chest. Heavy. Comforting. Like a weighted blanket soaked in lime zest and diesel fumes.
Smell-wise? Wild. Some phenos lean sweet—like lime candy melted on warm asphalt. Others go earthy, almost nutty. I had one cut that smelled like a key lime pie left in a hot car. Disgusting and delicious at the same time. Terps are unpredictable. That’s part of the fun. Or the frustration. Depends on your mood.
Yields? Meh. Not huge. But dense nugs, sticky as hell. Trichomes like frostbite. You’ll need a grinder unless you want your fingers glued together. And the colors—man, in the right conditions she’ll throw purples, deep greens, even flashes of pink. Like a sunset in a jar.
Medical folks say it’s good for anxiety, pain, insomnia. I say it’s good for zoning out and watching rain slide down windows. Or listening to old records. Or doing absolutely nothing and feeling okay about it.
Is it easy to grow? Depends who you ask. Some say yes—vigorous, resilient, forgiving. Others say she’s a pain in the ass. Sensitive to humidity. Prone to mold if you’re sloppy. I’ve seen both. Maybe she just mirrors your vibe. Treat her right, she’ll love you back. Screw around, she’ll ghost you mid-flower.
Would I recommend growing Key Lime Pie? Yeah. But not if you’re looking for something basic. She’s moody, unpredictable, and kind of a show-off. But damn—when she’s on, she’s on. And that smoke? Like biting into a dream you forgot you had.
Anyway. That’s my take. Grow her if you’re curious. Or don’t. She’ll be here either way. Waiting. Smelling like citrus and secrets.