ILGM – Editor’s Choice (2026)
ILGM is the US‑focused seed bank with a germination guarantee and fast shipping. Trusted by thousands of growers nationwide.
- ✅ Auto-flowering & feminized seeds
- ✅ High germination rate
- ✅ Fast US shipping
- ✅ Excellent customer support
Herbies Seeds
Herbies Seeds offers a huge selection with worldwide shipping. A solid choice for international growers.
- ✅ Wide variety of strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Good customer service
- ✅ Payment options available
Crop King Seeds
Crop King Seeds offers a variety of Canadian strains. Slightly lower ratings but still a good option for many growers.
- ✅ Canadian strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Decent customer support
- ✅ Payment options
Funky Monkey Seeds. Just the name makes you grin a little, right? Like, what kind of wild-ass weed comes from something called that? You’re not wrong to wonder. These aren’t your average, dime-a-dozen, gas station seeds. No. These little bastards have personality—swagger, even. You pop one in the dirt and it’s like lighting a fuse. Something’s gonna happen. Could be magic. Could be chaos. Probably both.
First time I grew Funky Monkey, I didn’t know what I was getting into. Thought it’d be mellow, maybe a little fruity. Nah. This stuff came up like it had a grudge. Thick stalks, leaves like jazz hands, and this smell—sweet at first, then BAM—skunky socks and tropical rot. Like a mango died in a locker room. I loved it. My neighbors, less so.
They’ve got a few phenos floating around—some lean indica, some stretch out like sativas on a beach vacation. It’s a bit of a grab bag, honestly. But that’s part of the charm. You don’t grow Funky Monkey if you want predictability. You grow it because you like surprises. Because you’re bored of the same old cookie-cutter strains with names like “Purple Something #9” that all taste like lavender soap and regret.
And the high? Oh man. It sneaks up on you. You’re sitting there, thinking, “This is nice, I feel chill,” and then suddenly you’re staring at your hands like they’re made of spaghetti. Not couch-lock, not quite. More like your brain took a left turn and forgot to tell your body. I’ve had conversations on Funky Monkey that felt like interpretive dance. Not for the faint of heart—or the overly scheduled.
Is it for beginners? Eh. Maybe. If they’ve got a sense of humor and a backup plan. These plants can get unruly. They need space, attention, and sometimes a little tough love. But if you treat them right, they’ll reward you with buds that look like they were rolled in powdered sugar and bad decisions.
Honestly, I think Funky Monkey is for the growers who are a little weird themselves. The ones who name their plants, talk to them, maybe sing. The ones who don’t mind a little mess, a little unpredictability. If you’re the type who color-codes your nutrients and measures pH with surgical precision—this might not be your jam. But if you’re the kind of person who grows barefoot and forgets what day it is? Welcome home.
One last thing. The seeds aren’t always easy to find. They pop up in weird places—small breeders, underground forums, some sketchy dude at a festival who swears they’re “the real deal.” Sometimes they are. Sometimes you get tomatoes. That’s the gamble. But when you score the real Funky Monkey? You’ll know. Your nose will know. Your friends will know. Your landlord might know, too.
Grow it. Or don’t. But if you do—buckle up, buttercup.