ILGM – Editor’s Choice (2026)
ILGM is the US‑focused seed bank with a germination guarantee and fast shipping. Trusted by thousands of growers nationwide.
- ✅ Auto-flowering & feminized seeds
- ✅ High germination rate
- ✅ Fast US shipping
- ✅ Excellent customer support
Herbies Seeds
Herbies Seeds offers a huge selection with worldwide shipping. A solid choice for international growers.
- ✅ Wide variety of strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Good customer service
- ✅ Payment options available
Crop King Seeds
Crop King Seeds offers a variety of Canadian strains. Slightly lower ratings but still a good option for many growers.
- ✅ Canadian strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Decent customer support
- ✅ Payment options
F’n louZER Seeds. Yeah, that’s the name. Sounds like a joke, right? Like some stoner in a garage came up with it after a three-hour dab session and a bag of stale Funyuns. But don’t let the name fool you—these seeds? They’re no joke. They hit hard, grow weird, and leave you wondering what the hell just happened to your afternoon.
First time I ran a batch, I didn’t expect much. Packaging looked like someone printed it on a broken inkjet. No glossy branding, no “award-winning genetics” sticker, none of that polished dispensary fluff. Just a scribbled logo and a warning: “Not for cowards.” I laughed. Then I planted them. Then I shut up.
The plants came up like they had something to prove. Gangly, unpredictable, a little mean. One of them twisted sideways like it was dodging bullets. Another one grew a double stalk—conjoined twins of pure chaos. I didn’t top them. I didn’t dare. They looked like they’d fight back.
But the buds? Jesus. Sticky like melted candy, reeking of diesel and burnt mango. Not that sweet, fruity nonsense either—this was dank, like the inside of a mechanic’s glove. Smoked it with my buddy Kev and he just stared at the wall for twenty minutes, muttering about time loops. I think he saw God. Or at least a version of her with a mullet and a vape pen.
These aren’t beginner seeds. Don’t even try if you’re the type who names your plants or plays them classical music. F’n louZER doesn’t care about your grow tent feng shui. It wants chaos. It thrives in it. You’ll get uneven phenos, sure. Some might herm. Some might explode with trichomes like they’re trying to make up for the others. It’s a gamble. But when you hit the jackpot? You’ll know.
And yeah, the name still makes me laugh. F’n louZER. Like it’s mocking you before you even start. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe it’s saying: “You think you’re in control? Cute.”
I don’t recommend them. Not unless you’re ready to lose a little control. Not unless you’re okay with weird. But if you are? If you like your weed with a side of madness? Then yeah. Plant the damn seeds. See what happens.
Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.