ILGM – Editor’s Choice (2026)
ILGM is the US‑focused seed bank with a germination guarantee and fast shipping. Trusted by thousands of growers nationwide.
- ✅ Auto-flowering & feminized seeds
- ✅ High germination rate
- ✅ Fast US shipping
- ✅ Excellent customer support
Herbies Seeds
Herbies Seeds offers a huge selection with worldwide shipping. A solid choice for international growers.
- ✅ Wide variety of strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Good customer service
- ✅ Payment options available
Crop King Seeds
Crop King Seeds offers a variety of Canadian strains. Slightly lower ratings but still a good option for many growers.
- ✅ Canadian strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Decent customer support
- ✅ Payment options
False Teeth seeds. Yeah, that name alone makes you pause, right? Sounds like something your grandma might keep in a dusty tin next to her sewing needles. But no—this isn’t about dentures. It’s weed. And not just any weed. This is the kind of strain that sneaks up on you, wraps around your brainstem, and whispers, “Sit down, you’re done for the day.”
It’s an indica-dominant hybrid, bred from Candyland V2 and Grandpa’s Breath. Which, let’s be real, sounds like a weird family reunion. But somehow, it works. The genetics are tight. You get that sweet, almost syrupy inhale—like grape bubblegum left in the sun too long—and then this earthy, musty exhale that hits like a dusty attic full of forgotten records and bad decisions.
Growing it? Not for the faint of heart. False Teeth seeds aren’t exactly beginner-friendly. They’re moody. Temperamental. Like a cat that only likes you when you’re ignoring it. But if you treat them right—give them the right light, keep the humidity dialed in, don’t overwater like a panicked first-time plant parent—they’ll give back. Dense buds. Sticky as hell. Trichomes like frost on a windshield at 6 a.m.
And the high? Oh man. It’s not a party strain. This isn’t for dancing or talking to strangers at 2 a.m. This is for sinking into the couch, watching your ceiling fan spin, and forgetting what day it is. Heavy body buzz. Brain fog like a warm blanket. You might drool a little. That’s fine. No one’s judging.
I smoked it once after a long shift—feet aching, back shot, brain fried—and I swear, twenty minutes in, I was levitating. Or maybe just horizontal. Hard to say. Time got weird. I forgot I had a phone. My dog looked at me like, “You good?” and I just nodded. Yeah. I was good.
False Teeth isn’t for everyone. Some folks want clarity, energy, focus. This ain’t that. This is for the end of the line. The lights-out, no-more-emails, shut-the-world-up kind of vibe. And honestly? Sometimes that’s exactly what you need.
So yeah—False Teeth seeds. Weird name. Weird high. Weirdly perfect, if you ask me.