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Critical Purple Kush seeds. Just saying the name feels like a slow exhale. These little bastards are moody, powerful, and—if you treat them right—absolutely worth the trouble. I’ve grown them twice. First time? Disaster. Second time? I swear I saw God in the trichomes.
They’re an indica-dominant hybrid, which sounds clinical and boring, but what it really means is: couch-lock. Heavy eyes. That deep, warm body buzz that makes your bones feel like they’re humming. You don’t smoke this and go run errands. You smoke this and forget what errands were.
Growing them is a whole other beast. Indoors, they’re manageable—short, bushy, stubborn as hell. Outdoors? They’ll test your patience. Mold can creep in if you’re not watching, and they don’t like being ignored. But the yield? Fat, sticky buds that reek of berries and diesel. Like someone spilled wine in a mechanic’s garage. Weird, but it works.
THC levels? High. Like, “why is the ceiling breathing” high. Not for the faint of heart or the casual weekend toker. This is for people who want to feel something. Or nothing. Or both at once. Depends on your mood, I guess.
One weird thing—every time I’ve grown them, they’ve looked a little different. Sometimes more purple, sometimes more green. Like they’re trying on outfits. I kind of love that. Keeps you guessing.
Oh, and the flowering time? Fast. Around 7-8 weeks. Blink and you’ll miss it. But don’t rush the cure—this strain gets way better with age. Like cheese. Or trauma.
Would I recommend them? Yeah. But not to everyone. Some folks want easy, predictable grows. This ain’t that. This is for the growers who talk to their plants, who obsess over humidity, who get a little too into it. You know who you are.
Anyway. If you’re looking for something strong, strange, and just a little bit mean—Critical Purple Kush might be your girl.