ILGM – Editor’s Choice (2026)
ILGM is the US‑focused seed bank with a germination guarantee and fast shipping. Trusted by thousands of growers nationwide.
- ✅ Auto-flowering & feminized seeds
- ✅ High germination rate
- ✅ Fast US shipping
- ✅ Excellent customer support
Herbies Seeds
Herbies Seeds offers a huge selection with worldwide shipping. A solid choice for international growers.
- ✅ Wide variety of strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Good customer service
- ✅ Payment options available
Crop King Seeds
Crop King Seeds offers a variety of Canadian strains. Slightly lower ratings but still a good option for many growers.
- ✅ Canadian strains
- ✅ Reliable shipping
- ✅ Decent customer support
- ✅ Payment options

Cheese Quake. Just saying it makes your mouth twitch a little, right? Like, what the hell is that—some kind of dairy disaster? Nah. It’s a cannabis strain. A weird, funky, glorious one. Born from the chaotic marriage of Cheese and Querkle, this hybrid is like someone dropped a stoner’s dream into a vat of sour cream and purple grapes. It’s loud. It’s messy. It’s not for everyone.
First time I cracked open a jar of Cheese Quake seeds, I swear the smell punched me in the face. Not gently. Not like a whisper of pine or citrus or whatever polite strains try to do. This was full-on fermented funk—like someone left a blueberry cheesecake in a gym locker for a week and then lit it on fire. And somehow, it worked. Still does.
Growing it? Not exactly a walk in the park, but not a total nightmare either. Medium height, bushy like a pissed-off hedgehog. You’ll want to top it early unless you’re into chaos. Indoors or out, it doesn’t care much—as long as it gets light, warmth, and a little love. Or at least not neglect. The flowering time’s decent, around 8-9 weeks, and the yields? Respectable. Not record-breaking, but solid. Like a good friend who shows up late but brings tacos.
Now the high—oh man. It sneaks up on you. Starts in the head, like someone’s tickling your brain with a feather dipped in wine. Then it slides down, slow and syrupy, into your limbs. You’re not couch-locked, exactly, but you’re definitely not running errands. It’s euphoric, a little silly, sometimes introspective. I’ve had full-on giggle fits and also cried watching a dog food commercial. It’s unpredictable. That’s part of the charm.
Medical folks like it for pain, stress, depression. I get that. It’s like emotional bubble wrap. You smoke it and suddenly the sharp edges of life feel a little duller, a little more manageable. Doesn’t erase the bad stuff, but it makes it quieter. And sometimes that’s enough.
But listen—this strain isn’t for the faint-hearted. If you’re new to weed, maybe ease into it. Cheese Quake doesn’t hold your hand. It throws you in the deep end and laughs while you flail. But if you like your cannabis with a side of weird, if you want something that smells like a dairy aisle during a blackout and hits like a velvet hammer—this might be your jam.
Or not. I don’t know your life.