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Banana Puddintain. Yeah, that’s the name. Sounds like something your grandma might whip up on a lazy Sunday, right? But nah—this ain’t dessert. It’s weed. Or more specifically, cannabis seeds. Funky little things that grow into some of the most absurdly sweet, sticky, brain-bending plants you’ll ever meet. If you’re into that kind of thing. And if you’re not? Well, maybe you should be.
These seeds—Banana Puddintain—come from a lineage that’s got some serious swagger. Banana OG meets GMO and then gets a little slap from something like Triangle Kush or maybe even Dosidos, depending on who’s telling the story. Genetics are weird like that. People say “lineage” like it’s gospel, but half the time it’s just stoners playing telephone with plant names. Still, the result? A plant that smells like overripe bananas left in a hot car, with a side of garlic funk and some diesel fumes for good measure. Sounds gross. Smells amazing.
Growing it? Not for the faint of heart. These seeds don’t just pop and behave. Nah, they stretch. They sulk. They throw fits in veg and then explode in flower like they’ve been saving all their drama for the stage. You’ll need to top them. Maybe twice. Maybe more. They don’t like being ignored, and if your humidity’s off by even a tick? Mold. Poof. Gone. But if you dial it in—if you really listen to what the plant wants—it’ll reward you with buds so dense they feel like wet rocks. Covered in trichomes. Sticky as hell. Smells like a banana milkshake got into a fight with a skunk and lost.
And the high? Oh man. It creeps. First you’re chillin’. Then you’re giggling. Then you’re on the floor wondering if your cat is judging you. It’s heavy. Couch-lock city. But also weirdly euphoric, like your brain’s been wrapped in a warm towel. Some people say it’s too much. I say they’re cowards.
Medical folks like it too. Chronic pain, insomnia, anxiety—this strain doesn’t mess around. It’s not subtle. Doesn’t whisper. It shouts. Knocks the edge off your nerves and replaces it with this lazy, syrupy calm. Like floating in a pool of banana pudding. Hence the name, I guess.
Anyway. If you’re thinking about growing it, don’t half-ass it. Banana Puddintain demands attention. It’s not some autoflower you throw in a closet and forget. It wants light, airflow, nutrients, love. But if you give it that? You’ll get something special. Something loud. Something that makes your friends go, “What the hell is that smell?”
And you’ll just smile. Because you know.